It’s a tragic life! Thanks to CIA and online booking!

I’m always looking to save time by opting for more convenient ways to run my errands and I’ve realized online transactions are the way to go! You can warm your couch as long as you want, you can stay in your jammies or whatever you are wearing or not wearing, AND you don’t have to talk to people, etc! (You get the point, don’t you?)

But there are times when it gets extra-complicated for something very simple! I decided to book tickets for The Nun! Everyone I asked to go with me gently let me down citing it’s not their genre. Huh, is gothic/horror my genre? I don’t have a genre! I just want to watch this movie because I like to poop my pants once a while and feel THE presence of things that scare the hell out of me! But that’s not the point here, it’s about online tickets booking!

You put in all the information, which, by the way, takes forever! It’s like CIA wants to know who’s watching which movie, they need all the information! I never knew how weak I was until the site volunteered to shower me with compliments! Huh? I tried multiple times to convince this site with a million different passwords and yet, every time it subtly told me how weaker I was getting! I was so wretched when I decided to try one last time rage mounting inside me like bile in my digestive system. UR1fu*kingmoron! Lo and behold, I was in! I passed CIA’s first level with flying colors! Thank you for manning me up CIA!

Next level, security question! What’s the name of your first pet? Hmmm, What was it? Then I call my husband and he pauses for a few seconds and comes up with a name. I’m like “Honey, that wasn’t the name of our first pet. That’s what I named that…you remember? And I don’t think they mean that kind of petting!” Then I go for an alternate question ‘What’s the model of your first car?’ and I type in Maruti Suzuki and CIA comes back with ‘No made-up name’. I want to convince CIA that it’s a very well-known make in India but you all know how hard it is to convince them, so I just pick the name of a model which is THE favorite of almost all immigrants ‘Toyota Camry’! There you go, was that so hard ? Says CIA! Under His Eye CIA (People familiar with Handmaid’s tale will know this reference, for rest of us, there’s Google)! Level cleared!

Now, I need to prove to my laptop that I’m not a robot! Oh my God! What have we done to ourselves? Most of the time I get my kids to do that one. I can’t turn my head in an angle, squint my eyes and try to figure out whether it’s an alphabet or a number! My three and half year old gets it right every time…….my god, is she dyslexic? At this point, I’m super happy because if she’s dyslexic, you know what that means! She’s either Einstein or Picasso, it’s a win-win either ways! You go girl! I’m warming up to CIA at this point for revealing my daughter’s future to me! (It may be Stockholm syndrome but I love you CIA!) Level cleared!

Now I need to choose the country! Why? I’m not flying out to another country to watch The Nun! No! No! No way sir, I’ll have none of that! Why do they have so many places that’s not even in America? I’m scrolling down to T and it comes up with Tajikistan! What?

(I’m saying the following in Russian accent, I’m not good at it, so please use your own imitation.)

“Bro, do you want to watch a movie?”

“Sure, which one?”

“The Nun, we’ll watch it in America, what do you say? We fly to Texas and watch this movie?”

“Well, I was planning to go trekking later, now that this going to take really long, that’ll have to wait until we get back.”

“Yeah, you do that and I’ll book tickets now, online

Huh? Is that what CIA wants to know? Or is it ICE* behind CIA? (* – Immigration & Customs Enforcement) Well, CIA seems to know what they are doing! Who am I to contradict them? I don’t want to get my visa revoked! Level cleared!

The actual circus begins when you click on submit and it comes back with missing data messages like a million times! Then you go back and look into each box…..aaahhh ok, it’s my name, well CIA, would it be easy if I just put it as Ugly Betty? Wait, what? It’s taken already? Damn you, America Ferrera! Jesus Chirst! and CIA responds ‘available’ in green….there you go! Thank you God!

And then add convenience charge! Is that what I get for all the inconvenience caused? Like compensation? Apparently NO! I’m the one coughing up that one too!

Dang it, I’ll go back to staring the wall, thank you very much CIA but you cannot make me get off my couch!

 

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Doctor Visits are Weird and I Have a Black Belt in Narcissism!

“Your brain is working perfectly well and is in a great health condition”

This assessment was offered to me by two different seasoned doctors whose expertise is unquestionable!

Now the question is why would my optometrist (one of the aforementioned doctors) feel the need to tell me about the functioning of my brain while I was in his office to get my eyes checked? What had he heard about me? Were people talking about me? While it’s expected of a neurologist to comment about my grey cells (although I visit him for my mere migraine conditions only), why would these two specialists whose offices are located far from one another and in opposite direction of my county, would feel the need to make the same statement?

Ha, my reputation precedes me! That’s the only logical explanation! But at least now, I can say confidently that I was tested too Dr.Sheldon Cooper and in addition to that I have a second opinion, not one but two doctors said I had a perfectly functioning super-intelligent brain! (Sometimes I get carried away with adjectives!)

Doctor visits get weirder as you grow older, I think or is it just me? He lifts your chin, looks into your nostrils and says ‘All clear’! I don’t know how to react to a compliment such as this! Hmmm, thank you? Then he sits down and says ‘Ok, let’s talk about your bowel movements’! Aaaaa, Noooooo? I don’t want to!!! I’m a person who talks about movements that changed history, not my dietary conditions! I’m a grown woman in 30s, I don’t talk about that sh*t! He looks me in the eye, dead! He means business, my business! Doc, it’s just migraine. You are looking at the wrong system for Christ’s sake! Show me your certificate! He points to the wall behind me!

Well, there’s another reason why I don’t want to talk about my business to an old man, I don’t want to seem like I’m boasting! Where would I even begin?! Look old man, I can actually wait until I’m inside the bathroom, can you? Well, that’s harsh now! Then I tone it down trying not to sound like a show-off! Myaaaan, these visits are really weird! Yet, he said my super-intelligent brain is in perfect working condition. I felt so guilty for giving him a hard time, I decided to carry some mild laxatives for him as a token of my appreciation!

Doctors are experts in small talks, they could talk to you like they have known you for years even if they are seeing you after 6 months and has no recollection of who you are as a person except whatever their records show and yet they effortlessly pick it up from where they left off. They make you feel so comfortable, you start asking them questions about their life (if you are stupid like me and has problems with boundaries). I went to my family physician for my annual check up and she asked ‘When was your last period?’ and I didn’t just answer that like a sensible person but I had to ask her when was her last period? It’s not a question for a woman in late 60s unless you want to make them feel jealous! Again, I wasn’t boasting that I’m half her age but I’m clueless about boundaries!

However, both my neurologist and my optometrist attest that my intellectual brain is in a fan-fu*king-tastic working condition! I don’t like to contradict what experts say, if they have declared me as super-intelligent, so be it! I will accept their word even if I’m being crushed under the weight of such a title! (Again, I get carried away with adjectives because I have a black belt in narcissism) However my family physician, being a woman, seems to have not forgiven my stupidity, so here I’m paying a bigger bill than what I normally do! You pay for your mistakes, sometimes twice the amount!

Well lady, I understand women don’t easily forgive, so here’s my next question, when was the last time you curled your toes, considering you could! (Feeling wicked, alright!)My super-intelligent brain always rejoices in verbal combat! Since it’s working perfectly well, get ready for round 2 Madame Doctor!

YOU. CAN’T. SEE. ME!!!

Wicked Witch of the East, Goal Setting and Rumination!

Once upon a time there was this princess who didn’t dress up like the ones in fairy tales, she had no white pony or a unicorn, neither was she cursed nor rescued from a heavily guarded tallest tower by a Prince Charming…..!!! This is where one would begin to wonder if she was really a princess if she didn’t have anything in common with that of those whose names are written in gloss and glitter! But she was, she stood as the epitome of contradiction with moon-dust in her eyes that out-twinkled all the pixie-dust glitter and stance of a gypsy warrior! She fought her battles, some she won and others she didn’t but she always picked herself up and moved on!

And then appears a little girl from nowhere after decades and declares ‘ I’m a princess, I like all things pink and purple and Elsa is my favorite….!’ Ha, how about that? Karma is a boomerang, it comes back to kick your as* when you take a road to avoid your destiny because destiny, my friends, is a bit*h as they rightly say! I have no choice but wait until she realizes how sexist these fairy tales have been and I need to accept that it won’t happen any time sooner since I can’t pitch the concept of sexism to a three year old for at least a decade! On the bright side, we get to watch Princess Sofia……REPEATEDLY!!!

The strangest thing is, even with all these differences, she’s exactly what I wanted in a girl. Stubborn, unruly, carefree and when she falls down she never waits for anyone to pick her up…..!!! Some would call such a child difficult but I call her a Go-Getter! Does she embarrass me? Of course she does but it’s not because of her actions, it’s because I care too much about what others think of my parenting skills! She’s a princess alright! She asks for pink fish, pink airplanes, pink cars, pink horses! Yes, she’s a princess and a delusional one! After all she’s my child and I would be surprised if she wasn’t! But she’s Darwin’s princess, she’s a survivor! One of her favorite play-thing is to emulate what I do, she sits down with a book in her hand and announces ‘I’m Theetha now’. The first time she ever said that I burst into peals of laughter and it took time to get back up on my feet, wipe my eyes and wait for my husband to get home!

That’s exactly why she will go to school too, just like her brother but two weeks later! Because she tries to emulate me and I don’t know if I’m setting a good example! That makes me want to focus on myself now , accomplish something and show her that princesses don’t have to stick to a stereotype and a kick-ass princess is a better bet any day than a ‘damsel-in-distress’ and if she wants to follow in my footsteps, I want be worthy of such an honor she might bestow upon me in future. I don’t want her to grow up thinking she wants to get married, have kids and raise them….some goal setting it would be and I would have to kick myself if she ever got that idea!

As the Wicked Witch of the East continues to yell at me from the other side of the mirror for not keeping my word that I gave to my children and sending them off to school, I apply my make-up as a my counter argument, pulling a mask over the witch’s face, smoothen my curls ignoring her muffled cries, put on a dress and yet, I can see her contrived smile! I pull out my lipstick and adjust the corners of her lips drawing a perfect nice smile thus completing the act of gentrification! I can hear my heart sobbing silently at the thought of a system that fails creative minds brutally and deliberately but I turn a deaf ear and as a final act, I peal the heart off of my sleeve and put it back in its place, behind the cage where it belongs!

When it’s all falling apart, who’s to say the pieces are not falling into places??? Thank you Rumi! My RUMInation always helps!

Empty promises, My deception and His Trust in Me!

……..he was finally placed in her arms after having waited for a whole 38 weeks and 36 hours. She looked at a piece of her heart that had just torn itself apart and fallen out of her and yet that was the moment she felt complete and whole! He looked scared, the first sight of unbeknownst must have thrown him off. He cried helplessly while trying to cope with his new lung capacity in an alien environment and blurred vision. A few seconds later he was placed in her arms and he calmed down almost immediately! The touch of her skin was a new feeling but he was quite familiar with the emotions behind it. He listened to her heart beat like it was a piece by Mozart! That’s the thing about love, even when you can’t see, you will not lose vision when you have an inner connection!

She looked at him for hours, running her index finger carefully on his cheeks, ears, arms, legs savoring the moment, trying to memorize each part of the picture-perfect moment pixel by pixel so that she could get back to that day effortlessly whenever she wanted to, in future, like a free-return ticket! And then it escaped her throat, a promise she made to her little one in a moment of weakness, while he was only a few hours old!!!

She said ‘I promise I’ll let you be whatever you want.’   He moved in her arms slightly, rounded his lips as if he was asking her for something, something more!

“Well, I will give you wings, my love. You will soar high!!!”

And then the door opens, I can’t keep my eyes open to the brightness that just poured through the opening. While I’m squinting and struggling to balance myself in the unexpected sudden distortion of sight, I feel something is being taken away from me, my bundle of joy is being forcefully pulled away from me and I throw my hands in the air trying to catch or pull back what’s rightfully mine in vain. The door begins to close and now I can see my little one but he’s not a baby anymore! He’s walking away from me with a backpack and it says Back-To-School on it! I can feel something tickling between my two palms pressed together, I open them up and a piece of bloodied clipped wing falls down at my feet!

**********************************************************************************

I hope I don’t wake up with this dream again this year! School starts tomorrow! I can hear Professor Lupin in my head, hold on to a happy thought Harry…..! Yes, Prof. Lupin, I’m trying, I’m rummaging through the gallery trying to find something that doesn’t tie me to an unfulfilled promise but everything does and then I begin to choke on a life I dreamed for kids that didn’t involve a school system and clipping their wings! A life that could offer much more than learning within four walls and by a few people, a life that could fulfill prophecies meant for each of them, a life meant for living, a life that doesn’t reduce them to fit the roles already defined by norms and prejudices……and then I’ll end up at a picture-perfect image where it all began which will again connect me to an empty promise I made years ago!

I’m not sure if I can even sleep a wink tonight, I’m scared of seeing a bloodied clipped wing in my dream, it stands as a testimony to the kind of mother I am, someone who makes empty promises! And yet, when I encourage him to follow his dream, he hugs me tightly as he held my finger in his palm back then, I struggle to keep the tears from rolling down. I don’t know what makes me weep more whether his trust in me or the knowledge of my deception!

 

 

 

 

 

Do you miss home? I’m often Asked! Your Turn now!

Do you miss home?’ I’m often asked! 2c19d98364a7c0eb4b04e8592ee70b37

It’s been two years since I moved from a place I called home for 35 years to a place I knew nothing about! So, do I miss home? As simple as it may seem I still haven’t figured out how to answer that question! For one thing, I have always believed that home is not a place, it’s a state of mind and it continues to be that for me. But yes, there are things that I miss about the place I come from.

The thing I miss the most is public transport! How I miss those city buses, metros and auto-rickshaws. Bus rides were always fun, plus I could read my books more comfortably when I was riding them and not worry about missing my stops or keep looking up at the display board. I just had to keep the conductor informed in local language politely and he would gladly let me know when it was my stop to get off!

I miss the roadside book-carts in every nook and corner of the city. I never got used to audiobooks or kindle ones, even today not much of a fan although I’m a proud owner of a Kindle paperwhite! The way paperbacks excite me, e-books can’t! E-books are like motel grade hookers who could never master the art of seduction while paperbacks are like Victorian-era courtesans, they all have a degree in Kamasutra! So, back in my old city, if I forgot to carry a book, I just had to stop at a cart and negotiate with a book-cart owner! The odds are, he knew nothing about books or reading or probably illiterate but was very much aware of the weakness of bookaholics and probably had a master’s degree in negotiating with idiots like me! I would generally end up buying a dozen in place of one or two! Do I miss that? Well, hard to say no !!!

the-top-5-quotes-about-home-1-638I miss the nightlife! I don’t mean the partying life, nope not at all! I remember I was having one of those days and I was edgy, irritated, moody and what not, let’s just say I was just being a woman if it doesn’t offend any feminist! So my gang took me to this coffee place to have some sizzlers at …..hold your breath….3AM! Yes, we went at 3am because I was feeling low! I miss that!!! Yesss, most definitely! The fact that I have to sync my mood swings with the coffee-shop schedules is the most unbearable thing that could happen!!! You say melodramatic, I say schizophrenic! You pick which one is better!

I miss movie-watching experience from back there! As soon as we see our favourite star/actor/scene on the screen we show appreciation by whistling, screaming and throwing coins/quarters at the screen(I swear it’s true and I have done all of that). I like watching stupid movies for that reason. You cannot be watching Inception and throw coins suddenly, don’t go with the flow! I don’t even understand why people want to watch intelligent movies? If you want intelligent movies, then READ books! Intelligent movies are for people whose cognitive skills are so screwed up that they need visual aids! People with cognitive skills down-syndrome if you will!

The Godfather, READ THE BOOK!

War and Peace, READ THE BOOK!

Great Expectations, READ THE BOOK!

Fifty Shades of Grey, GO F#$K YOURSELF!

Is that so hard? Inception, my foot! Till date I don’t remember if I actually watched the movie or dreamed about watching!

I love watching mindless movies. Like Oceans 8 or Skyscraper and I did watch both but imageswhat I missed doing is, whistling screaming and throwing coins/quarters at the screen! Ohhhhh, how I missed doing it!

Having said that, I don’t feel any less homely here! I know it’s hard to believe but I do feel alright. No land is foreign when you realize it’s someone’s home and backyard and that’s when it hits you! It’s not an unknown land, you are just in an unexplored neighbourhood and then you begin to count your distance in friendships than in miles! So what if I didn’t get to whistle at Cate Blanchett and throw quarters at Sandra B? I still had fun fighting for Jan’s popcorn and cursing Clooney for marrying that snob! Thank you J, I’m counting you twice :-)!

So, do you think I miss home? Your turn to answer!!!

Agitated, Fidgety, Nervous, Dithery State of mind? -Bad hangover it is!

What’s the word I’m looking for an agitated, fidgety, nervous, dithery state of mind? I call img_0123it a bad hangover!

Robert Alexander’s The Kitchen Boy had such strong content I feel badly hung over even a couple of days later! Boy o boy, was it an 18 year old Knappogue or the bone chilling conspiracy theory! It’s a dreadful horror story and yet mind boggling! I can still see the visuals if I close my eyes for he crafted it so intelligently and vividly, anyone with an inner eye can see it unfold before them!

 

Revolutions are integral part of evolution, hallmarks to show that we are heading somewhere! But revolutions are not without a doubt!! Like with everything else there are always pros & cons!!! The problem was not that Monarchy was limited, the problem was with a limited monarch in any country that gave rise to these revolutions. Communism, which was so glorified during its conception, did so much little once it was born into the wilderness of humanity that another revolution was inevitably followed. Robert hasn’t taken any sides either, he makes it a good point by not taking sides because that’s what led to a series of revolutions and yet people were left dissatisfied…..everyone was out to make a point while they were still drunk with power of throne or philosophy!

His only intention however was to reveal how a fictional royal family was targeted at the end of the Romanovs era and made to live in the hide-out (under house arrest). A tsar and his tsaritsa with their five young children – four girls and one disabled boy! The book was so deceptive, it sent shivers down my spine when he finally revealed toward the end the royal were toyed around with by sending forged secret rescue messages to derive sadistic pleasure and the whole family died thinking the rescue mission failed when the helpless lot were shot point blank at the wee hours. If this was the work ethics of communists who came to power after the downfall of monarchy in Russia, then I’m shudder to think any further!

But sadly, what monarchy calls sacrifice, democracy calls tragedy and communism? STATISTICS! The existence of people being reduced to carcasses and numbers…..justifying savage behavior with ideologies! Even when you are done with the book you can still feel that excruciating pain that will not go away nor can you point at the origin! You can feel the curdling of blood and yet there’s no visual proof. Such is the effect Robert made with his book. If not ‘agitated, fidgety, nervous, dithery state of mind’ , how else am I supposed to feel? And strangely, I’m not looking for comfort either! The pain a book leaves behind in you is the best thing that can happen to you……you just have to be ready to be a part of it!

 

Tsaritsas, story of unfortunate sexes in Russia and hence the world!

I don’t know what it is like to be a Tsaritsa but I pity Aleksandra even if it came with a powerful Tsar like Nikolai and a magnificent kingdom like Russia! This is the fate of unfortunate sexes that they lack a supreme phallus. They may have a super intelligent brain coupled with unbeatable warrior skills but in the end it’s proven that in no universe it can substitute for a male organ! Tsaritsa was blamed for the downfall of Russia, it wasn’t her place to participate in the state affairs while Tsar was away fighting the war…..hmmm so whose place was it? Her under developed underage son? Who had half a brain(I’m being too generous here) and no wit?

She gave birth to four healthy and beautiful girls and yet she felt insufficient and insecure. She had to give birth to an heir! She offered prayers and did everything everyone said for years to bear an heir because apparently only a boy was synonymous to an heir back then(I guess a 100 years ago or even now you think?) and the irony is, even after they saw what they had made, they still believed, of the four healthy and well educated girls only the fragile sickly boy deserved to be an heir! He couldn’t stand on his own two legs, so what? He wasn’t as well educated as the girls, sure, so what? He had a penis, now that gotta compensate for everything that he didn’t have and guess what? It did!

Everyone failed Russia except Tsaritsa. She did everything, including giving an heir that people said would help! But in the end, people said it was her participation……strike that off….it was her interference with state affairs that brought Russia to its Knees! Please you d#ckheads, you men had already f@cked it up even before it came to its knees (like you would wait for it to come to a position!) A Tsaritsa would not do what you did to your own country whether she was part German or full woman! Sure, Romeo died blame Juliet, Ramayana happened blame Sita, Adam did horrible things, oh it was Eve……my God, man up for once!

See, that’s the thing, Russia was abused,molested, gagged,raped and done unspeakable things to since before even Tsaritsa was born, so what did the men who came before and after her do? Stalin was practically smuggled inside by Germans because he sold parts of Russia to them. Tsaritsa was blamed just for being part German woman who could not be completely dedicated to Russia! You see, men are judged by their actions but women are judged by what they don’t have! So where was Tsaritsa supposed to go? Was it a reverberated thought or ricocheted bullet that killed her in that basement along with her family as she held herself responsible for the whole massacre! A woman’s place is not in the royal court! Atrocious!

A woman’s place is in resistance, it’s in revolution, in the kitchen, at home, with her children, by her husband,……..did they finally manage to figure it out yet? It’s very discomforting for some people unless they know HER place, it’s like they know she exists but where does she belong actually? I gotta know NOW!!! Ok, desperadoes, here it is, a woman’s place is wherever she wants to be! 

 

Small Talk Vs Great Conversation post midnight…which one’s you?

I’m not scared of turning 40 (no, I’m not 40 yet, I won’t be for another 3 years and my birthday is not today and it’s nowhere in near future)……I just realized it would scare the daylights out of me thinking that I would be doing things when I’m 40 for which I should have practiced well when I was in my 20s…..so, am I scared of turning 40? No, I’m terrorized!

Let’s start from the beginning …..Small Talk! I dread small talks!! I have a black belt in social awkwardness!!! I always wanted people to pretend not seeing me if they ever wanted to be in my good books and vice-versa! Because I know myself 100% well and I know the moment I open my mouth I will screw up anything that’s even impossible in a million ways but I will find a way to do it, becaaaaaauuuuuse, I’m a GENIUS! I had no clue what to say then, I have no clue what to say now!

It’s rather difficult for me to compliment someone randomly and impulsively unless I have a history or some kind of a connection with them. If you know each other then it takes a few words, even fewer syllables or just a whistle (!?) and you know they get it but with a new person you will be thinking even a week later if you offended them somehow! But I’m learning now, I’m making mistakes at an age where everyone’s already mastered the art and that makes it even harder!

You would think it’s easier to return a compliment but it’s harder than it seems. For some, it comes really naturally but it’s me we are talking about here! There’s no way anything is easy! I would rather be buried under a pile of books than being caught returning a compliment! Normally, I don’t notice appearance, dress, accessories, looks, hair or body type with someone I haven’t connected (yet?) at a different level beyond appearance! But it seems like normal for women around the globe to have small talks involving one or all of the above and I’m trying out this ‘normal’ before my 30s end! I’m learning, I’m trying and I  know it sounds lame when I return a compliment but I do it with all the sincerity!

Gosh, it’s so hard, I better be losing some calories doing all the hard work! However, I respect small talks, I have had small talks before! It’s easier to talk about books, authors, quotes, wanderlust, photography, whiskey, tattoos, broken bones, bar fights etc and the recent hot topics have been my terrible migraines and gluten-free diet I have turned to because of that….I guess different people different topics but one philosophy….Small Talks! For someone who’s avoided making eye contact to get away with not doing small talks for so long, it’s exhausting doing just the opposite but I don’t recommend it for anyone my age for it looks creepy! I’m practicing making eye contact and smiling at the same time to make it look less creepy but that just makes me look like Mr.Bean, creepier like a pedophile!

I guess I can’t do general Small Talks because I’m built for great conversations and it usually involves coffee, books, music, an over sized t-shirt, long fuzzy socks, sound of rain and way past mid-night under the confetti of stars with those who have an ear for unspoken words!

 

 

Sense 8, Radical women and Matters of the Heart!

Sense 8 – Do I like it?

It wasn’t love at first sight, in fact it seemed rubbish when I watched the first episode. What I didn’t realize then was that’s how most of the incredible love stories begin! I think I’m in love with the idea behind Sense 8! Eight people around the globe who are evidently very different from each other, not just the way they look but also the way they are made, can connect with other people who have the same sense telepathically and be there for each other….! Seems lame in the beginning but then if you are wired to look beyond the obvious, you could see the ideology more clearly and if you are the optimistic type, you would know in an instant that how doable it looks if you name that Sense 8 with a word you can relate to or familiar with, like Love!

Imagine, not just 8 people, but if people could connect with each other all around the globe! I’m not talking about a made-up sense but a connection that human beings can make with each other! If only it was possible for people to stay together, connected in a way that would enable us to be there for each other not just to help get through something but to live, laugh and love! I suppose it’s difficult since it’s hard to look beyond one’s appearance, speech and culture but is it impossible?

It’s a total entertainer too! There’s Naveen Andrews (Syed from LOST), the man who steals hearts with his looks and mannerisms but this time I’m more impressed by Miguel Angel Silvestre’s acting skills. From playing a handsome chivalrous young man from 50s in Velvet to playing a flamboyant gay Spanish actor of 21st century…Wow! But my heart is torn between this cop from Chicago, Will Gorski played by Brian J Smith, a gentleman every mother would want her daughter to marry and Wolfgang, a German gangster played by Max Reimelt, a ruggedly handsome ruffian every mother would warn her daughter against! Well, it’s a woman’s heart and it will always be radical!

(Tip 1: If you have to choose in a case like this you need to identify which of the(ir) women you hate the most and I seem to hate Kala, played by Tina Desai. Therefore, Wolfgang wins hands-down! It’s funny how matters of the heart work, the feelings are always inversely proportional)

Well, I’m just glad my broadband connection is up and running since we moved into our new house. Now I can catch all the series I missed and Netflix keeps a total check of all that I love! Thank you babe, you are my best friend! I’m still a little sore from all the moving and setting it all up. It’s still so new that I clean up the stove the moment anything spills on it! Yeah, that delusional phase where you think you are going to keep your house spotless forever but I often forget I have two little apes (Disclaimer : Any resemblance to living or dead is purely unintentional. My kids, my metaphors! I pity the woman who made everyone laugh for decades and then people turned against her for one joke!)

To the new beginning, to the future connections we might make with other people who have the same sense, to being new inevitable hoarders soon, to all the pivots that decorated my new home, to a delusion of a spotless house, to growing up and growing old, to a home filled with life, laughter and love and to you guys and me to keep this connection going despite our geographical location (a new sense 8 probably)…………….CHEERS!

Memories – a return ticket to your past!

I am very fond of my friends because they all follow a rule, ‘always stab in the front’! But there are times when I hate them and this is one of those! Isn’t it a rule to stop having fun when your friend is away from home? If it’s not a rule yet, we need to make one right now! You cannot do something that your friend likes in his/her absence. I didn’t move thousands of miles away from them so that they betray me like this…..they are supposed to sulk, not continue to have fun without me! Would you party in the absence of your best friend? Would you go on your wanderlust without your friend who loves to do so? Would you encourage gossiping when someone who loves doing it is not around? Likewise you don’t beat up a guy, your friend would have loved to beat up or at least watch getting beaten up, in her absence, period! There, is that so hard to understand Brutus?

Anyway, I’m just glad there’s social media to catch me up on things I would miss being part of otherwise! That’s the thing about friends, they help you move on in any which way possible and I have always had THE best ones who would help me move even a dead body! (I swear I have never done anything like that in my entire life, I’m a nice girl. Ask my parole officer if you want!) It’s the dichotomy of anatomy, a duel between a wandering spirit and a gangster mindset, you want to travel the world but not without your gang…am I crazy? Why is it even a question?

Patagonia, Mount Roraima, Bordeaux, Anatolia, Castilla Y Leon …it’s an endless list from Argentina, Brazil, France, Spain, to Turkey but I know I need my gang to revive that part of me which makes me do stupid things in between my travels. The good thing is, they never let me do it alone. I need to keep that part of me alive because if you haven’t done anything stupid then you don’t have any story to tell and you know what that means? The day you run out of stories you turn into a sane and normal person! Charles Bukowski says ‘Some people never go crazy, what truly horrible lives they must lead‘! Need I say any more?

I miss being with them because we never judged each other since we were always busy judging other people together! I still don’t know which one was tighter, our friendship or our jeans! But I know one thing, true friends are like condoms, they protect each other when life gets hard so that you don’t screw it up real bad! Sure, we are all grown up but we have never grown apart. That’s the best thing about doing things together because you were actually making memories when all the sane people around you thought you were just being stupid. Now every time you feel nostalgic those memories work like return tickets. Rumi says if light is in your heart, you will find your way home! 

You may never get to be that person again ,you may never get to spend time with same people again but I’m positive wherever I am I will feel home because I believe there are always my type of crazy anywhere you go. You just need to know where to look! To all my friends, to the future ones as well and all the stupid acts I’m yet to commit…..let the whole world know we are out to make more memories (not in terms of selfies)!!!